Tag: tiny feet

Jeff Ashton Vital Statistics Reported

Jeff Ashton Tiny Feet ‘n Hands

This report has just come in for Jeff Ashton aka Jeffrey L. Ashton aka Judge Jeffrey L. Ashton.

Summary: Tiny Feet ‘n Hands

Sex: Unknown, possible Trans

Sexual Preference: Gay, Straight, Both at the Same Time

Marital Status:  Married, but may be separated

Marriages:  Three reported

Children:  Six (6)

Height: 5’10”

Weight: 295

Hands: Tiny

Jeff Ashton's fingers are smaller than a Vienna Sausage
Jeff Ashton’s tiny fingers

Fingers: Extraordinarily thin — not nearly as big around as a Vienna Sausage, but bigger than a spaghetti noodle or a straw)

Feet: 7 1/2 (aka Tiny) (has to shop in children’s department)

Head: 8 1/2 (BIG)

Mouth: Big

Tongue: Tiny

Member: Unable to locate (The Urban Dictionary defines “member” as “A dick. Often used by fan fiction authors, because ‘penis’ is a turnoff, and saying ‘cock’ or ‘dick’ a million times is boring.)”

Brain: Unable to detect.  Appears to be without a brain in his head.

Politics:  Democrat

Polygraph Results:  Incapable of telling the truth.

Jeff Ashton Tiny Feet ‘n Hands