Jeff Ashton Vital Statistics Reported

Jeff Ashton Tiny Feet ‘n Hands

This report has just come in for Jeff Ashton aka Jeffrey L. Ashton aka Judge Jeffrey L. Ashton.

Summary: Tiny Feet ‘n Hands

Sex: Unknown, possible Trans

Sexual Preference: Gay, Straight, Both at the Same Time

Marital Status:  Married, but may be separated

Marriages:  Three reported

Children:  Six (6)

Height: 5’10”

Weight: 295

Hands: Tiny

Jeff Ashton's fingers are smaller than a Vienna Sausage
Jeff Ashton’s tiny fingers

Fingers: Extraordinarily thin — not nearly as big around as a Vienna Sausage, but bigger than a spaghetti noodle or a straw)

Feet: 7 1/2 (aka Tiny) (has to shop in children’s department)

Head: 8 1/2 (BIG)

Mouth: Big

Tongue: Tiny

Member: Unable to locate (The Urban Dictionary defines “member” as “A dick. Often used by fan fiction authors, because ‘penis’ is a turnoff, and saying ‘cock’ or ‘dick’ a million times is boring.)”

Brain: Unable to detect.  Appears to be without a brain in his head.

Politics:  Democrat

Polygraph Results:  Incapable of telling the truth.

Jeff Ashton Tiny Feet ‘n Hands